Resolutions
Eventually, Mike returned to the party, still very drunk, but at least he was quiet. As soon as he came in, I told him that I was going home and that he could stay or go with me. Unfortunately, he came with me, but I drove the car home. It was just a short drive, a few miles from the location of the party. Mike slept on the way home, and I was grateful for that. I was very tempted to just leave him in the car, but it was freezing outside. I woke him up and walked up to the apartment by myself. As soon as I went inside, I went and changed out of my clothes into my nightgown. I wanted to just lay down and go to sleep, but Mike was still not inside. I heard him stumbling around outside the door, so I just turned and started walking back to the bedroom.
As soon as he came through the door and locked it, he ran up behind me and grabbed me, and threw me down on the floor. I immediately got up and ran to the bathroom and shut the door, but he caught up with me and was pushing on the bathroom door, forcing it open. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out of the bathroom. I was fighting back, swinging at him and kicking him with my bare feet, and then he grabbed my leg and picked me up by my leg and hair and threw me on the floor again. That one really hurt me; my head hit the floor hard and knocked me dingy. I started to get up, and then he kicked me in the stomach and knocked me back down. He jumped on top of me and started ripping at my gown and groping me. I was able to get one leg up, and I kicked him in the groin. Now he was down. I took off running for the bedroom, made it inside, and locked the door. I picked up one of his shoe trees and was ready to come through the door; he kicked it open and broke the lock. As soon as he got in the room, he grabbed me by the throat with both hands and pushed me on the bed. I took the shoe tree and hit him in the head as hard as I could. He let me go. I was gasping for breath and trying to get away again. He spun me around and knocked me down on the floor again. That was the last thing that I remember. He had knocked me out. When I woke up I was on the floor, my clothes had been ripped completely off. I hurt in so many places that I couldn't move. I knew that he had violated me, and I wanted to hurt him, but I couldn't get up. He was passed out on the bed with his pants around his knees. I pulled a blanket off of the bed and stayed where I was.
When I woke up hours later, he was gone, no sign of him anywhere. I pulled myself up by grabbing the bed and laid back down. My head was pounding, and every part of me was throbbing. I went back to sleep. I woke up in the evening; it was dark already. Glen was going to be brought back home at 8:00. I had to get up. I had handprints on my neck, my lip was swollen, I had finger marks all over my arms, bruises all over my thighs, and the beginnings of a black eye. I got in the tub and soaked my aching body. I put on jeans and a turtleneck and started straightening up the damaged living room, picked up the lamps, set the rocking chair back up, and hung clothes on the bedroom door to hide the split in it. Then I put on makeup to hide the bruised eye, but I couldn't hide the swollen lip. I turned the TV on and the lights off; it was very dim in the apartment. I might be able to pull the deception off.
At 8:00, my brother knocked on the door, he had Glen, and he was asleep. I put my fingers to my lips like shhh, and told him I would put Glen in bed, and I would see him later. I shut the door. I had pulled it off. I put Glen in bed, went and took some Asprin, and went to bed myself. I needed sleep and the softness of the bed.
The next morning when I got up, I looked like I had been in a bad wreck. I felt like it too. I hurt all over, I was stiff, I couldn't move my head. My neck was totally stiff, and my lip and eye were both huge. When Glen woke up, he looked at me and started screaming; he didn't know who I was. I calmed him down by talking to him; he knew my voice and was okay. But I would catch him staring at me. I felt sorry for him that he had to look at me in the shape I was in.
I had a lot of time to think, Mike didn't come home for two weeks. I decided if he ever tried to hurt me again that I would kill him if it was the only way that I could get away from him. I took a paring knife and hid it in a plant on an end table. It would be there if I needed it. He might hurt me a little, but he was never going to hurt me badly again.
When he finally came home, I didn't talk to him. I just spent all of my time with Glen. When Mike was hungry, I told him he was a big mean guy that could fix his own food. I wasn't waiting on him anymore; I told him that I would take him back to Camp David and that from now on, I would be keeping the car. He could get a ride home and a ride back to Camp David.
In a couple of weeks, I knew that I was pregnant. I was so mad; what a way to bring a baby into the world. I could keep it to myself for a while. I didn't hardly ever see anyone, so nobody would know. I hated him for what he had done. I was not ready to have a baby; Glen was only 6 months old. I was not going to spend the rest of my life being beaten up and pregnant every year. No way.
I was going to learn how to defend myself one way or another. I would have this baby and have a backup plan for emergencies. And eventually, I would figure out how to get away from him.
As soon as he came through the door and locked it, he ran up behind me and grabbed me, and threw me down on the floor. I immediately got up and ran to the bathroom and shut the door, but he caught up with me and was pushing on the bathroom door, forcing it open. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out of the bathroom. I was fighting back, swinging at him and kicking him with my bare feet, and then he grabbed my leg and picked me up by my leg and hair and threw me on the floor again. That one really hurt me; my head hit the floor hard and knocked me dingy. I started to get up, and then he kicked me in the stomach and knocked me back down. He jumped on top of me and started ripping at my gown and groping me. I was able to get one leg up, and I kicked him in the groin. Now he was down. I took off running for the bedroom, made it inside, and locked the door. I picked up one of his shoe trees and was ready to come through the door; he kicked it open and broke the lock. As soon as he got in the room, he grabbed me by the throat with both hands and pushed me on the bed. I took the shoe tree and hit him in the head as hard as I could. He let me go. I was gasping for breath and trying to get away again. He spun me around and knocked me down on the floor again. That was the last thing that I remember. He had knocked me out. When I woke up I was on the floor, my clothes had been ripped completely off. I hurt in so many places that I couldn't move. I knew that he had violated me, and I wanted to hurt him, but I couldn't get up. He was passed out on the bed with his pants around his knees. I pulled a blanket off of the bed and stayed where I was.
When I woke up hours later, he was gone, no sign of him anywhere. I pulled myself up by grabbing the bed and laid back down. My head was pounding, and every part of me was throbbing. I went back to sleep. I woke up in the evening; it was dark already. Glen was going to be brought back home at 8:00. I had to get up. I had handprints on my neck, my lip was swollen, I had finger marks all over my arms, bruises all over my thighs, and the beginnings of a black eye. I got in the tub and soaked my aching body. I put on jeans and a turtleneck and started straightening up the damaged living room, picked up the lamps, set the rocking chair back up, and hung clothes on the bedroom door to hide the split in it. Then I put on makeup to hide the bruised eye, but I couldn't hide the swollen lip. I turned the TV on and the lights off; it was very dim in the apartment. I might be able to pull the deception off.
At 8:00, my brother knocked on the door, he had Glen, and he was asleep. I put my fingers to my lips like shhh, and told him I would put Glen in bed, and I would see him later. I shut the door. I had pulled it off. I put Glen in bed, went and took some Asprin, and went to bed myself. I needed sleep and the softness of the bed.
The next morning when I got up, I looked like I had been in a bad wreck. I felt like it too. I hurt all over, I was stiff, I couldn't move my head. My neck was totally stiff, and my lip and eye were both huge. When Glen woke up, he looked at me and started screaming; he didn't know who I was. I calmed him down by talking to him; he knew my voice and was okay. But I would catch him staring at me. I felt sorry for him that he had to look at me in the shape I was in.
I had a lot of time to think, Mike didn't come home for two weeks. I decided if he ever tried to hurt me again that I would kill him if it was the only way that I could get away from him. I took a paring knife and hid it in a plant on an end table. It would be there if I needed it. He might hurt me a little, but he was never going to hurt me badly again.
When he finally came home, I didn't talk to him. I just spent all of my time with Glen. When Mike was hungry, I told him he was a big mean guy that could fix his own food. I wasn't waiting on him anymore; I told him that I would take him back to Camp David and that from now on, I would be keeping the car. He could get a ride home and a ride back to Camp David.
In a couple of weeks, I knew that I was pregnant. I was so mad; what a way to bring a baby into the world. I could keep it to myself for a while. I didn't hardly ever see anyone, so nobody would know. I hated him for what he had done. I was not ready to have a baby; Glen was only 6 months old. I was not going to spend the rest of my life being beaten up and pregnant every year. No way.
I was going to learn how to defend myself one way or another. I would have this baby and have a backup plan for emergencies. And eventually, I would figure out how to get away from him.
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