You've Got A Friend

Friends

Friendship is a wonderful thing.  We form bonds with people that we know, love, and trust.  However, after contemplating this for a few weeks now, I have admitted that there are different levels of friendship, different types of friendship, and different expectations of friendship.  There are even specific reasons for choosing the friends we have.  It's not really all that simple, I guess because it deals with people and relationships.  BAM.  People. (eye roll)

When we are young, as toddlers, our friendships are probably the most honest and pure.  We see another person that attracts us.  Maybe they are playing with a toy that looks fascinating to us, or maybe they are eating something that looks yummy.  So, we crawl over to them and join them.  Maybe we speak in baby language to them, maybe we touch them, or maybe we touch the thing they have that we want.  If they are open to us, they reciprocate in some way, smiling or laughing, reaching their hand out to us, or maybe even giving us what we want.  Ah, they like us.  And we can continue our literally give and take toddler relationship until we get to the "child" stage.

As an older child, we have now learned things like selfishness, rage, jealousy, love, possession, hate, and acceptance—the friendship game changes.  The simplicity of being a baby or toddler has disappeared.  We have more emotions, more things that we want, and more ways to express ourselves.

We might choose friends that are similar to us in personality, upbringing, demeanor, and tastes.  Or we might choose a friend or friends that are totally contrary to everything that we are.  Maybe we are looking for a little excitement, leadership, or defiance skills that we lack in.  Sometimes we might pick a friend that needs our help or protection.  And, yes, sometimes the people that we end up with as friends just may be the only people around.

As we become teenagers, we all begin to change physically and emotionally.  Our old friends might ditch us for new buddies.  We might get involved with the wrong people; they might get involved with the wrong people.  We, heaven forbid, might even turn out to be one of those "mean girls."  The perfect, pretty girls seem to have it all, the clothes, the guys, the cars.  Those bitches.  Yeah, they were, and I hope they know that.  I know my school had a number of them who would kick your ass for no particular reason.  And the guys, too, they had their "shitty guy" clique.  You know, the ones who really thought they were God's gift to the female gender.  The "cool guys," who teased and taunted girls that they thought were ugly, or brainy., or didn't like the way they dressed.  We definitely had a bunch of those around.

Teenagers pick their friends for more mature reasons than the junior high bunch.  It's all about cars and girls and guys, activities or sports, or the need to not be alone.  Sometimes those friends mean nothing more than a social activity, and then we're off to a new friend.  And then some people remain friends throughout their lives.  But we all need friends.

As I got older, I picked my friends and kept them in separate mental categories.  One good friend was a voice for me when I was too stupid to stand up for myself.  It didn't matter what I thought; if she knew that I was being mistreated, she stood up for me.  She taught me how to stand up for myself, and I have never stopped.  Thank you, Mary.  She was my strong friend.  She opened the door for me to be able to do the same for others.  Because of her, I went on to work in my Union, representing folks that needed help.  I found my talent in that area, and I loved every minute of it.

I had friends that I chose that made me laugh.  I needed a lot of laughter in my life.  I had a few friends that needed something from me, help, or understanding, or love.  I have been fortunate to have a lot of great friends.

The friendship that I give is, I believe, pretty solid.  I will not talk about you, I will never divulge your secrets, I will never use you for any asset that you may have.   If I think that somebody is harmful to you in any manner, I will tell you, even though I know you won't like it.  I will do anything for you within my power to help you.  And I will always be there to talk or help pick up the pieces. And all that I ask in return is some similar form of friendly respect.  Don't blow me off, don't lie to me, don't ignore me, and don't take advantage of my kindness.  Think before you say something that you don't mean because I NEVER FORGET.  I NEVER FORGET.

So, after reading this, how do your friends measure up?  I hope that you are all good for each other and keep your friends close forever.  Because we all need friends in our lives.

Happy upcoming birthday Mary S.  You've still got a friend.

#You've Got A Friend