Tribute: The Final Kay

Photogenic Kay

Well, here it is, 2020 already. I wrote this for Kay in 2017, hoping she might read it. She had been very ill for some time, but I could not confirm any details until recently.

Unfortunately, Kay passed away last January from complications of diabetes. I had been searching for information about her without any luck. Last month, I had a temporary gig as an admin for a Facebook group for former Bell System employees.  I found her name on some information that had not been posted promptly.  One of my friends was kind enough to forward her obituary to me.

When you read her obituary, you will see how artistic and talented and loved she was. She was a slow burner; it took Kay years to find true happiness and love, but on the way, she endeared herself to us by making us laugh, helping us if we needed it, and watching her grow. She loved and was loved.

About our Kay.

When I started working in the Business Office, I met and became friends with many great people.  It was a large office, and the majority of us were in the same age group. Previously, I worked with what seemed to be the bottom of the phone company personnel barrel, except for a few people.  Now I was working in an office full of vibrant, fun people.

I choose to write about Kay today.  I know that she is not in good health, and she has been on my mind lately.  I hope that one of my or her acquaintances might get this to her husband and have him read it to her.  I want her to know what a special person she is.

I find myself a little tearful right now while I am writing about her.  She was so energetic, funny, charming, and adorably cute.  That's how I remember her and always will.  Here's to you, Kay, for all of the fun times and laughs.

Kay and I are about the same age.  We were in our early twenties when I met her.  She had recently gone through a divorce and was now a young, attractive, single girl.  She reminded me of Olivia Newton-John.  She had dark, short blonde hair, a few freckles across her nose, one of those small, cute, upturned noses that always made me jealous.   She was just a gorgeous girl.  But she never acted like she knew that.

Kay was always smiling and laughing.  She would help anyone who asked for it.  You just couldn't help but like her.  At this point, I believe she was emerging and forming her real personality, and she wasn't entirely confident about her assets yet.  She was a little on the quiet side at this point.

She was going out of town for a few days and asked me if I would check on her apartment and water her plants.  Of course, I said yes.  I was surprised that she asked me to do it, it wasn't like she lacked for friends, and I felt honored with me being new to the group.

I went to her place and walked into a very orderly, clean, homey place.  She had a lot of potted plants, gorgeous plants.  She had pictures of family around and things that just made you feel comfortable.  It was a nice place.  I had two little boys, my apartment never looked this good, and I envied the order.  I walked around and made sure everything was secure.  And then I went home to kid clutter.

Kay was a go-to person in the office.  If you needed help, you could count on her.  She never thought anybody was stupid; she knew how hard the job could be.  She was always like that.   In fact, one of our managers created a challenging test that every one of us who worked under him had to take to test our knowledge.  It was just for his information.  Some folks needed improvement, some people were pretty good, some were top-notch, but Kay was the best.  She was the only one to get a perfect score, not that it won her any type of awards, but she was number one out of many peers.  Did it go to her head?  Of course not!

As time went on, some of us were changing—our taste in clothes, makeup, hair, and personalities.  I know we had the most attractive office out of all of our business offices throughout Dallas. We just had a lot of attractive people, and Kay was blooming.  She was more outgoing; she was so much fun to be around.  A few times we were out in a group, she and I laughed so much we would almost pee our pants.  There just wasn't anyone who didn't like her.

In those days, the phone company was very safety conscious.  They had safety committees and OSHA working to keep everyone safe.  Working inside an office, safety was not a big issue for pole climbers, cable splicers, and installers.  We were happily running, literally throughout the office doing our jobs, sitting with one leg under our butts without a care in the world.  Safety issues didn't concern us.  Until one day, the big shots from OSHA came to our office without warning. We didn't have a dress code to wear jeans and t-shirts and casual clothes to work in.  We all did it.  On the day the OSHA people came to our office, Kay had worn jeans and a t-shirt from a new restaurant in town.  I don't remember the place's name, but the shirt had a picture of a giant hamburger on it.  Above the burger printed in huge, bright lettering, it read; EAT ME.  Below the hamburger, it said; At (the name of the restaurant) in tiny letters.  It was funny as hell.  But when all of the big shots walked in, our manager was not happy about that shirt.  A whisperfest meeting of supervisors and the manager was held in an office isle; those folks told Kay not to get up unless she had to, hoping that she would not be seen.

 Office practices in those days allowed everyone to smoke in the office.  Kay was a smoker, as were a lot of us. She was one of those Bettie Davis Hollywood, glamorous smokers. First came the long inhale thing, lighting the end of her cigarette up like a torch, followed by the huge exhale and a few smoke rings.

The OSHA guys and our managers were making the safety check walking around the office. Kay hung her phone up and pulled a drawer out, and cracked one of her long, long nails. She had some nail glue and repaired the crack.  She was sitting with her leg underneath her bum, talking to a customer, and blowing on her nail. Kay lit up a smoke, and the glue on her nail caught on fire.  She started screaming and waving her flaming finger, trying to put it out.  Of course, our visitors ran over there to see what was going on.  Kay's face was bright red, and her freckles were, for some reason, extremely evident.  Her boss Dee ran over to her aid and mostly to shut her up.  The rest of us were hiding our face laughing, not at Kay, but at the irony of the situation, and others were aghast and "oh my Goding."  Needless to say, it was determined that we had some safety issues.  We were no longer allowed to set our fingers on fire or sit with one leg underneath us.  Kay became notorious on that day with her cute shirt and flaming finger.  It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

A couple of years later, we had a lovely office Christmas party.  It was at an apartment complex party room.  It was a BYOB Christmas party with excellent food and setups provided.  I picked up Kay, Theresa, and Terri, and we went to a liquor store.  While we were in the parking lot, someone lit up a joint in the back seat.  Kay had a gorgeous frilly dress.  When the joint was fired, all of the burning ashes and loose grass fell on Kay's lap.  She started screaming that her (fill in the blank) was on fire and flipping her dress up.  One of the girls said, "Kay, where are your panties?"  I died laughing. She didn't ask her if she was okay; she asked about her panties.  We had all been drinking on the way to the liquor store, and the activity in the back seat was just too funny.  I won't tell you Kay's response about her panties, but it was the most fun part of the event.  We were all laughing so hard we were crying, makeup running down our faces, stomach hurting, sides hurting, snorting, you name it.  It was one of the funniest nights ever.  It was also the night I met my future husband, but eesh, that's a story for later.

Those two funny times are how I choose to remember Kay.  All of the years that have passed, all of the miles, the different people and events leave me with the warmest memories of her, but those two hysterical events make me miss her every time I think about them.

Thanks, Kay, for being in my life and making it better.  We all loved you and hope that you know that.  You made it fun, and you made it better for us.  We blow a warm kiss your way and wish the best for you.

https://www.resthavenfuneral.com/obituaries/Janet-Neeley/#!/Obituary