Tribute: She Walks in Colors Everywhere (For Mary Jan, In Memorium)
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| Going home. |
The passing of friends and loved ones is always painful for the living. In 2018, I lost friends, family, and pets to the point of being deeply depressed at times. And I have felt the anguish of my friends who have gone or are going through the same thing.
Love hurts, and yes, our love makes us selfishly want to keep our object of love even when we know we should let them go. Sometimes they just leave us, and other times we might have to decide to let them go. Either way, it all sucks.
Some of you know Mary Jan. I called her MJ. In my whole life, I have never known someone as pure of heart as she was. She was married to one of my schoolmates, and that's how I came to know her. Her husband referred to her as his little hippie girl. She had that free spirit of a love for life, appreciation of nature, and animal protection. And she loved her family most of all.
Three years ago, she lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack. Somehow she managed to pick up the pieces to step up and keep his business running and his employees with a paycheck. How did she do that? Her pain and loss was so crushing; how did she do that?
A while later, her daughter's husband was hit by a car and killed. She stepped up and helped her daughter and grandson cope with their loss while her own grief was still so raw. How did she do that?
And then her health problems started. And it became a battle of wills as to who would win that. She had to fight the system just to get the medication she needed to keep her with us. It was out of this world expensive, but eventually, she got it. I know the stresses on her from losing her husband and son-in-law wore her immune system down. Everything she did and had to do for herself and others made her stronger emotionally as far as her coping skills, but physically she was fading.
During the hurricanes of 2017, we almost lost her. I was listening to weather alerts for Houston because I was concerned about her. At one point, I heard them announce flooding being eminent where she lived. I started calling her on Facebook, probably 20 times in a row. She finally answered weakly. She was so out of it she couldn't understand the danger, she couldn't wake up. I started screaming at her to get up and call her daughter. I was at my son's and screaming at her so loudly to wake up that the dogs started cringing and rolling their eyes. And then I lost the connection. Called back, no answer. Frantic for days until I found out her daughter had reached her just barely in the nick of time. Her house had already started flooding, and she was so sick and weak that I don't believe she knew how bad it was.
All of this happened within about 2 years of her husband's death. And then she had a liver transplant, and while it saved her from one thing, other significant issues came up.
Mary Jan was still in the hospital before Thanksgiving. She was hoping she would be able to go home and be with her family and see her beloved rescue animals. And then she quietly slipped away. If only she could have had a reprieve from her treatment for 2 days to be with those she loved, after all, she had been through, and she couldn't be granted 2 days by the powers of whoever, the Big Kahuna, to make peace with her situation and say goodbye. I am so angry! Some people have to endure too much pain, and they fight to overcome it more than most people will ever know. And then they get sick and die.
Please remember this about MJ. She was loyal, loving, and the strongest person I have ever known. She was a great photographer and snapped beautiful pictures of flowers and birds, and sunsets. She was kind to all animals and had a special shelter built to protect feral cats; she spent hours feeding them and taking care of them. She had many rescue animals in her home. She hated war and the abuse of women and girls. She loved her family and pets unconditionally. She was the best, fiercest, softest, strongest person ever. And last year, she bought a straw hat that she was crazy about. She really loved that hat.
I see her walking in a field, the animals that didn't make it through the hurricanes running behind her to catch up. She has her lovely straw hat on, holding it on her head as she starts running across the field. The sun is beginning to set. On the horizon is a single star inhabited by one lone soul; it's Craig. He scoops her up, the animals jump aboard, and off they go to a better place for eternity.
Peace be with you, Hippie Girl.
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